Misti Rainwater-Lites

poems and photos

Virginal Lisp

the air vibrates with it
listen to that gorgeous hum
your eyes find me hiding
and slay me
in the shadows
this is our swollen spring
dripping blooming soaring crazy
the sky kaleidoscopes jewel tones
sunset bleeds amber into sunrise
the clouds and stars smell brand-new
we meet in that meadow
dizzy
and the world
falls
down

Draining You Like A Really Deep Tub

you’re my flavor
I pick you
so be my god
let me call on you
when I’m in a heap in the dark
be my daddy
I like it icky like that
keep me on a short leash
bribe me with dessert
be my brother
play the games by my rules
I don’t exist
without you
can’t breathe can’t shit can’t piss can’t cum
without you
there’s this hurricane
inside my heart
there’s this tiger
furious and clawing
inside my stomach
you’ve got me
aching and throbbing
screaming for ice
Red Rover Red Rover
come over to my side to stay
sew your soul to mine
don’t hang up
don’t hate me
for getting your shirt
all soggy
don’t mind
my puddles
it’s all your fault
for makin’
me melt

Almost Got The Capricorn Tattoo

I’m putting my heart on rewind
I’m seventeen again
shiny and inquisitive
if I suck his dick eagerly enough
what will this get me?
if I listen to M.C. Hammer and Mariah Carey
will he think I’m cool enough
to ride behind him on his Indian
to the next kegger?

the years wash away as easily
as sidewalk chalk
I’m still that girl
giddy over a yesss
how you hissed it with emphasis
over the phone

the first time you told me you loved me
after a six hour telephone marathon
I sat on the stoop outside
the dorm
smoked a pack of Marlboros
watched the sun
pop into
the sky

all those nights on Sixth Street in Austin
I thought if I squeezed my eyes shut
the anonymous face breathing all over me
on the dance floor
could belong
to you
I practiced on skinny frat guys
my tongue was indifferent
to all the bland flavors
always, always
I craved your weird spice

I think of that car wash down the hill
from the park
we could just sit in my car
while the water streamed down
you and me
and a Dallas radio station
the years tiny and as easily lost
as Legos

Closet

I live inside this Jesus closet
this mouse closet
this mouth shut
colors muted
gutless closet
nobody sees
my parade
the world does not know
the carnival of me
the ocean of me
my lights are all
on dim
I’m good
I’m a cog
I’m a robot
going from work
to closet
to work again
I pay my bills on time
I pay taxes
I obey all laws
the only abuse
I inflict
is on myself
killing myself slowly
with vodka, cigarettes
and all the wrong food
when the heart finally
stops pumping
they won’t find me
for days
I hope my stink
will make them puke

Stab The Dreamy Outta My Heart

be vicious
about it
don’t baby me
with terms of endearment
kisses and caresses
fuck roses
fuck carriage rides around the park
throw me down
spit on me
fuck me raw
remind me what a worthless whore I am
give me bruises
instead of amethysts
I’ll lap it up
a loyal dog
put me on a short leash
and show me
who’s boss