Independence Day by Barry Graham
Oh, Independence Day. I should have known it was Independence Day, because everything seems independent. Nobody should go to work or go to school. Instead, we should pay $15.00 to sit in an auditorium and reflect on the wise words and valiant speeches given by our former Heads of State. Read excerpts from early American literature written by presidents. Pay another $4.00 for parking when we are through. I will take brief notes on Notes on the State of Virginia and My Life:
From Jefferson’s NOTSOV:
“The improvement of the blacks in body and mind, in their first instance of their mixture with whites, has been observed by everyone, and proves that their inferiority is not the effect merely of their condition of life.”
“But never yet could I find that a black had uttered a thought above the level of plain narration.”
President Jefferson was so preoccupied by his thirteen-year-old slave girl giving birth to their first son that he wasn’t in the right state of mind to speak intelligibly. But I guess if she was a virgin it was all worth it, right Tom? If I were to rape a slave girl I would have forced her on all fours and made my wife watch. You probably called her into the barn and pinned yourself on top of her, knowing her mother and two sisters were hiding behind the corner, not willing to risk their own lives to speak out.
In the state of West Virginia there is still a family of black folks who share the same blood as Jefferson. How are they celebrating Independence Day?
From Clinton’s My Life:
“Our job is to live as well and as long as we can, and to help others to do the same. What happens after that and how we are viewed by others is beyond our control. The river of time carries us all away. All we have is the moment.”
I wonder if Clinton wrote his own 957 page memoir. No one else is given credit on the book cover. But on to more important things – Bill why didn’t you just fuck her? I would have fucked her? No scandal. No impeachment. No mouths and cigars. No Kenneth Starr. No ridiculous assertion of guilt or innocence.
“President Clinton, did you have sex with Miss Lewinsky?”
“Why yes I did.”
“Thank you Mr. President, you’re dismissed.”